From Alyson’s Journal
October 2, 2010
I wonder what it would look like to live from nature in today’s world? I know a little about healing from nature and I know about enjoying nature. But, I don’t know living from nature. How/what would our instincts tell us to do?
Keeping in mind how we’ve “evolved” culturally and thus, the resulting environments – material vs. spiritual; rich vs. poor; war vs. peace. Living as human beings in 2010 – if we listen to our instincts what does that tell us to do? How do we hear from nature about how to live for it and thus, us?!
First, we need slow, calm, down time. First – SLOW! This all connects with my eating. Why do I not slow down? Why eat so fast? What am I trying to say with that outward behavior? Achievement, busy…somehow I thought it was outwardly defined as something with a positive connotation. It has something also to do with believing at my core, that good will not last. Good times and good feelings…I’m trained to believe that I don’t deserve good so it’s almost like I’m sneaking good when I eat. Just like now. I even sneak when I eat still. I don’t deserve “good” – whether it comes in food, positive feelings, or in true happiness. So…I eat up bits of these things in my life very quickly.
Wow! The thoughts are really flowing like crazy right now. I can’t move my hand fast enough. I just finished meditating and the Celtic meditation music is still playing in the background. And I keep discovering that these sorts of combinations make my mind fly.
I’m trying to write all these thoughts tied to my feelings at this moment and the intensity of my thoughts AND the music together is almost too much to bear. That sound…the high pitched flute or piccolo – it’s so beautiful. And it’s fall outside – wind, cloudy, cool – the smells bring me back to the last time I lived here and who I was at that time. The music also ties to something…a movie or a place or a person … somehow it is tying me to a true feeling of happiness I’ve had in my past. And the two together – smell of my past & happiness of my past makes me cumulatively feel (like a logic statement) – sad!
If F and F than T (from Mr. Forslund’s Philosophy class in high school); in my life: If smells of past AND if Happiness of my past than Sadness of my present. How that is possible, I do not know, but that is what I am feeling right at this moment.
Thoughts are going through my head of two, specific men in my life – one from the past; one from my very recent FL present. Thoughts of high school, mountains, Australia – namely, Nimbin – came to mind too since I’ve been writing. So many ideas…so many interpretations. I feel as if I examined them I could find the basis for a movie, a book, a lesson, or a class. This just made me think of me moving back towards teaching, which leads me back to listening to our instincts to feel & hear from nature. How to live for the now…
Which then made me jump to the Mayan 2012 prediction…I’m totally reading more about that…which made me think…what if I’ve really been in training this whole time? We all have been here, but the forces all around us are designed to prevent overcoming or beating the training course – life. And to win the battle – to survive – you need to know how to drown out all the distractions and get back to what has been right in front of us the entire time. What we want is right here – the good – the happiness. Life and time have added a shit-ton of distraction – things, careers, money, homes, clothes – you need to get down to the essence by completely eliminating the distractions. We need to get to just raw nature to see all the solutions.
When you allow that simple happiness to flow in you, you want to feel it and it feels wonderful! It flows – the energy flows in and around you. Being happy seems to be the outward manifestation of recognition of our inner essence. Then, once you can see this you are able to move beyond to see your effect on the bigger picture. It all doesn’t work unless you are completely who you are all the way down to the essence. And as you get there and move closer, you feel that feeling. You keep entering higher levels of consciousness and of being and as such, everything gets more powerful and more beautiful.
Here’s the best part…what if we had no idea how close anyone else was to their essence in their individual part of the big picture until we are all there? On the outside, if could seem that everyone is so far away from “getting it”. But, in reality, we could all really be right on the cusp. And when that cusp breaks it will be an incredibly overwhelming feeling of entire species raised consciousness!
We could get out of this maze! We would move to the next level in this universal game of living! What if that is exactly what is going on right now? Think of Eckhart Tolle. Think of the Mayan prediction. What if everything looks so crazy because we are THAT close to the “judgement” time?
On December 21, 2012 … what if the real difference in whether or not it is the end of times or a massive evolutionary change is simply whether we all as individuals BELIEVE this? How crazy would that be?! You had to 100% with your essence believe – not just say it without it being honest & true. In order to “win” you had to get to a point somehow in your 2010 life where you honestly could believe that it was possible. That we all are on the cusp of this and that it is possible that we all believe we are there. And if we believe and have hope and faith in one another, than on that night in 2012…we “survive”? We exit the maze…the rat race.
To be continued…
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