Good day,
I am still in awe of 1) how dark it is for so much of the days here in the winter in Seattle and 2) the fact that I seem to have no memory from one year ago of this hard-to-forget weather reality. I do love the dark, however, so truth be told that isn’t what caught me with my guard down as I began my 37th year this past weekend.
As the past 6 days have revealed to me, yet again, there are simply no words for so much in our world. And you all know how much I love my words. I’ve had nothing for 6 days. Something indeed happened to me over the weekend. Unprecedented, to be sure. Without a doubt, unexpected. The most appropriate & immediate image that comes to mind to visually depict what I emotionally experienced is the crash test dummy/auto commercials on TV. As I continue to recover from the metaphorical whiplash, the words are returning but not exactly in an organized, eloquent manner so bear with me, if you’d like to keep reading.
In my past, I have been criticized in my “professional” life on more than one occasion for my emotions. I care too much. I bring too much of me to work. I don’t separate the business from the personal. And look out if you ever cry in the realms of your professional life. I understood these criticisms. I took them to heart each and every time & adjusted my behavior to the best of my abilities while still employed in those jobs. However, the separation of my complete self from what I spent more time in a week doing than anything else – working – NEVER seemed “right”.
Indeed, balance is still required. I’m not campaigning for temper tantrums and complete breakdowns in the workplace, but haven’t you noticed a curious thing? Our work lives have absolutely infringed upon our personal lives – in almost every field/job. Yet, the street has largely been one-way. The level of acceptability for work imposing on personal is significantly higher than vice versa. What does it look like when you have the traffic flowing in both directions at the same speed limit of “appropriateness”? How could a business evolve that was able to actually bring the personal MORE into the work?
As my company unfolds in the upcoming weeks & months, I will have plenty more to expand upon regarding this particular theme. For now, suffice to say that there is HUGE, untapped value, resources, & potential in everything pertaining to emotional intelligence & those that possess it. In the present paradigm, what we know best, is how to bury our emotions and run from them. We know how to blame anyone and everyone for our lot in life. We know how to gossip about and judge others. And we know very well how to hurt others unintentionally (& intentionally) with our actions & words as a result of our own emotional dysfunction. Emotions are believed to be messy and for the most part, there is no place for them at work. Unless of course, you are me.
Most are not ready for this extremely empowering fact – we absolutely create our own realities and being in tune with your emotional guidance system is the key to doing so consciously and purposefully. I fully acknowledge that to many this sounds airy-fairy, hippie-dippie, pie-in-the-sky, pollyanna, vague, mysterious, crazy, or any other dozens of descriptors. Believe me, in the coming months, the speeches, the pod casts, the videos, the books, and the businesses will make this much, much clearer to those who are interested.
In the meantime, this is what I know to be true. We never know when our time is up in this life. I’ve been lucky with relatively few deaths in my huge family & among my friends. However, I have lost an aunt who died in a head-on car accident when her 4 kids were all less than 19 years old; an old high school boyfriend died suddenly last year at the age of 36; and an uncle of mine was diagnosed with an extremely rare form of cancer at 50 and died less than 5 years later. I am sure none of us have to go very far in our lives to find similar untimely deaths. Why do we wait until death or tragedy strike to begin to examine our lives? Why do we wait at all to live fully and completely and to let the best of us come alive? What is it that you believe we came here for in this life? When is the last time you allowed yourself to dream and actually believe it was possible for that dream to come true?
I believe we are here to thrive – not just to survive. I believe we are here to desire, dream and create. I believe in no limits to what we can accomplish as human beings. I believe we are living in very powerful times. And when the time came exactly 2 months ago for me to decide if I was going all the way with this pursuit or not, the questions I posed to myself were: “If not me, who? If not now, when?” After decades of blindly chasing one achievement after the other I finally stopped. I took time for me and was able to deal with the immense emotions of my past. I have found my light & there is no way I am going anywhere but forward. Your damn right I am going to share my feelings and thoughts (positive only) with others. I am absolutely going to tell you how much you mean to me. I am going to thank you and appreciate you every time I feel like doing so. And yes, I will tell you I love you because I’ve spent 30 years being terrified of that emotion. It is only now that I recognize that NOTHING in this world is more powerful. NOTHING!! Bringing love & emotions into the world of work is exactly what is going to change this world!
Before concluding, however, I do need to point out that being happier than ever and having dreams begin to come true doesn’t at all translate to never again feeling “negative” emotions. Life is still happening around & to me. Anger, frustration, sadness, loneliness – they are all still alive & kicking. Not at all daily, but definitely still present. As evidence, my 37th birthday this past Sunday.
I awoke around 6am – still adjusting to the massive shift from my life in FL to my life here in Seattle. Of course, I am still alone (it isn’t yet time for a romantic partner). The majority of my life has been spent alone – even when married – but the loneliness that bombarded me from the moment I opened my eyes was insane. And it didn’t stop there. I was blasted with emotions spanning the entire gamut regarding my life right now. I was brought to my knees – literally – all day long.
This painful, emotional day, however, was different than ever before and I felt the difference immediately. For the first time in my life, it wasn’t my past. IT WASN’T MY PAST!!! Instead, I was, for the very first time, feeling every single emotion of my present in the present moment. Given the status of my life right now (and how much has changed in 24 months), quite a few flippin’ emotions are swirling within me. This kicked my ass & had me down for the count. But like Rocky Balboa, fighting Apollo Creed at the end of Rocky II, I climbed back up the ropes before the count of 10 while Apollo (my old, unhealthy belief patterns & story) laid knocked out in the ring. The effects have definitely lingered but it was & continues to be incredible to be able to see and experience the ridiculous growth that comes from allowing yourself to feel!
We ALL have immense untapped potential within us. There is no doubt in my mind about this fact. I cannot wait to inspire those who are ready and willing to open their minds to the infinite possibilities of expansion & growth that lie in front of us all. When you are able to finally make peace with your past, cease your worry of the future, and recognize the power of the present you will witness within yourself the emerging of your true nature. Trust me…we have greatness within each of us that is waiting to be unlocked.
Dedicated to the world’s greatest best friend. We met 28 years ago and she knows me better than anyone. Spending the day with her & her family yesterday was exactly what I needed at a very pivotal moment. Her family has taken me in as a member of theirs and it humbles me every time I am in their presence. For someone whose path hasn’t included a family of her own, I cannot express with words how much this means to me. I’m not sure it is possible that I bring even a fraction of the value that she provides in my life. Thank you so very much!!
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