Mathematics, as defined on dictionary.com, is “the systematic treatment of magnitude, relationships between figures and forms, and relations between quantities expressed symbolically.”
Yes. I admit it. That sentence absolutely turns me on. Doesn’t that sound magnificent?! How about this one?
Mathematics (from Wikipedia) – “the abstract study of topics encompassing quantity, structure, space, change, and other properties; it has no generally accepted definition.”
Seriously? This is totally me! Have I been a closested mathematician my whole life? How could I have missed this in all my self-analysis?
(Continued from the Wikipedia entry)…”Mathematicians seek out patterns and formulate new conjectures.”
What the f#*% is a conjecture?
(After clicking the hyperlink)…”In mathematics, a conjecture is an unproven proposition that appears correct.”
Holy shit!!! I AM a mathematician…a social mathematician. There’s my new one-line answer to the question, “What is it exactly that you are doing?” My response, reserved for when I’m in the more intellectual circles…”Based on the patterns I’ve observed in myself & my life over the past 30 years, I have now formulated many new conjectures and I will be sharing them with the world.”
This actually makes perfect sense. I have loved math since I can remember. Organizing & analyzing are two of my favorite words in the English dictionary. My Dad is an accountant/CPA and so our childhoods were filled with numbers. When Dad would use the adding machine, we sat in awe of how fast his fingers moved over the numbered keys, without looking, and rarely with an error. People wonder where the obsession with quantifying, measuring, calculating, and logical & deductive reasoning comes from? That, my friends, is all courtesy of the numbers guy…the tax man…my Dad.
No joke…Saturday mornings, we would compute massive long division and multiplication problems. He would give us, for example, 2, 12-digit numbers that we would multiply by hand. Some of the problems took two or three sheets of paper. After calculating and watching Dad check our work step-by-step, we would beg for another one. My youngest brother must have picked up on these skills through some rare form of osmosis. Barely old enough to hold a kiddie-pencil, he was like a freaky little wizard. As the story goes, my mom would drive to school with Andrew in the back seat. She would ask him, “Andrew, how much is 1 quarter, 3 dimes, 2 nickels, and 4 pennies?” and the kid would get it right! He was 3!! My parents wonder why the three of us are the way we are today for what reason?
In all seriousness though, Mom & Dad earn the gold medal for teaching us fiscal responsibility and providing us with amazing discipline regarding our finances. The rule was, EVERY dollar we earned or were given was split 50/50 between ‘savings’ and ‘spendings’ – the two accounts we each had by the time we were two years old. ALL money was split – even Christmas and birthday gifts of money. Once we turned 18, the split was no longer “required” but greatly encouraged. All 3 of us each had over $10,000 in savings by the end of high school. My brothers, to this day, frugal beyond the definition, had almost double this for they didn’t spend a dime on anything…ever. One, in fact, opened his first IRA before he was 18. In our home, in more ways than one, we absolutely learned what I feel is one of the most important lessons in life…the value of a dollar.
Ah…the subject of money. As we all know, along with religion and politics, an almost guaranteed feather-ruffling topic to broach. However, if you can’t have honest, mature conversations about some of the most challenging things facing our society at present, can you really expect to ever “solve” the problems associated with them?
One of my favorite quotes is from Einstein…”You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. You must learn to see the world anew.” My move to Sarasota in 2008 was the beginning of a 2-year period where I most certainly began to see the world anew. Specifically, and particularly, as it pertains to economic value and what in our society has it and what doesn’t. And I am talking actual, monetary value. In the current paradigm in which we are living, what has been determined to have actual financial value and what hasn’t? Who has made these determinations? And is it not completely arbitrary what was decided?
Let’s take home ownership as an example. Having a home mortgage for even a relatively “small” amount – $100,000 – is completely acceptable for debt. Yet, accruing credit card debt for even 1/4 of that amount is frowned upon & labeled as “irresponsible” & “risky” by society – even if “society” has no knowledge or understanding of what that $$ is being used for. How about the amount of financial leverage a homeowner has with options like a home equity loan or a refinancing of one’s home? With relative ease, homeowners have the ability to acquire significant sums of money to then invest in something that is of value to them. If you make the conscious decision, then, to NOT own a home, you have no equal opportunity for receiving such relatively easy-to-obtain money with which to then invest in what you value.
By logical extension, does this reality not indicate that those who own homes are valued “higher” than those who don’t? And why should this be the case? Simply because a “group” (most likely to have been white men) 60+ years ago arbitrarily decided for EVERYONE that the American dream was to own a home? Then, this same “group” made the decision to have housing policies that flat-out discriminated against certain races of people preventing them right off the bat from having the same life opportunities. This is not opinion. This is fact.
I didn’t know any of these facts until 2011. While home in MI for my “year off from the world”, I volunteered with an incredible organization in the city of Detroit called The Generation of Promise. I was assisting with the preparation for one of their monthly activities and was editing portions of a documentary that was going to be shown. I was aghast at what I was watching/hearing. I was born and raised in and around the city of Detroit and I never learned these extremely valuable, local, historical facts until I was 35 years old?!
How can one learn of something like this and not look at the issue of race in this country (or at least in Detroit) with an entirely new perspective? I don’t care on which side of the political fence you stand. There is no LOGICAL way to explain how this COULD NOT have drastically affected things. And how about this for thought. Why, in the schools in and around the city of (substitute ANY AND EVERY city) do we not have at least one required class a year on the history of the city in which we live? Would that not make a ton more sense to study than say, the Civil War? The consequences of the Civil War are NOT what we are living today. In Detroit, in the 80s when I began school, we were living in a city dealing with the consequences of the 60s!! If the main purpose of our schools is to create “good citizens” would you not think it important to have your citizens know the most recent history of their city so as to best be able to offer suggestions & solutions that may actually have a chance to work?
TO BE CONTINUED TOMORROW…
Dedicated to my Dad. Tomorrow, the detailed version.
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Good day,
I am still in awe of 1) how dark it is for so much of the days here in the winter in Seattle and 2) the fact that I seem to have no memory from one year ago of this hard-to-forget weather reality. I do love the dark, however, so truth be told that isn’t what caught me with my guard down as I began my 37th year this past weekend.
As the past 6 days have revealed to me, yet again, there are simply no words for so much in our world. And you all know how much I love my words. I’ve had nothing for 6 days. Something indeed happened to me over the weekend. Unprecedented, to be sure. Without a doubt, unexpected. The most appropriate & immediate image that comes to mind to visually depict what I emotionally experienced is the crash test dummy/auto commercials on TV. As I continue to recover from the metaphorical whiplash, the words are returning but not exactly in an organized, eloquent manner so bear with me, if you’d like to keep reading.
In my past, I have been criticized in my “professional” life on more than one occasion for my emotions. I care too much. I bring too much of me to work. I don’t separate the business from the personal. And look out if you ever cry in the realms of your professional life. I understood these criticisms. I took them to heart each and every time & adjusted my behavior to the best of my abilities while still employed in those jobs. However, the separation of my complete self from what I spent more time in a week doing than anything else – working – NEVER seemed “right”.
Indeed, balance is still required. I’m not campaigning for temper tantrums and complete breakdowns in the workplace, but haven’t you noticed a curious thing? Our work lives have absolutely infringed upon our personal lives – in almost every field/job. Yet, the street has largely been one-way. The level of acceptability for work imposing on personal is significantly higher than vice versa. What does it look like when you have the traffic flowing in both directions at the same speed limit of “appropriateness”? How could a business evolve that was able to actually bring the personal MORE into the work?
As my company unfolds in the upcoming weeks & months, I will have plenty more to expand upon regarding this particular theme. For now, suffice to say that there is HUGE, untapped value, resources, & potential in everything pertaining to emotional intelligence & those that possess it. In the present paradigm, what we know best, is how to bury our emotions and run from them. We know how to blame anyone and everyone for our lot in life. We know how to gossip about and judge others. And we know very well how to hurt others unintentionally (& intentionally) with our actions & words as a result of our own emotional dysfunction. Emotions are believed to be messy and for the most part, there is no place for them at work. Unless of course, you are me.
Most are not ready for this extremely empowering fact – we absolutely create our own realities and being in tune with your emotional guidance system is the key to doing so consciously and purposefully. I fully acknowledge that to many this sounds airy-fairy, hippie-dippie, pie-in-the-sky, pollyanna, vague, mysterious, crazy, or any other dozens of descriptors. Believe me, in the coming months, the speeches, the pod casts, the videos, the books, and the businesses will make this much, much clearer to those who are interested.
In the meantime, this is what I know to be true. We never know when our time is up in this life. I’ve been lucky with relatively few deaths in my huge family & among my friends. However, I have lost an aunt who died in a head-on car accident when her 4 kids were all less than 19 years old; an old high school boyfriend died suddenly last year at the age of 36; and an uncle of mine was diagnosed with an extremely rare form of cancer at 50 and died less than 5 years later. I am sure none of us have to go very far in our lives to find similar untimely deaths. Why do we wait until death or tragedy strike to begin to examine our lives? Why do we wait at all to live fully and completely and to let the best of us come alive? What is it that you believe we came here for in this life? When is the last time you allowed yourself to dream and actually believe it was possible for that dream to come true?
I believe we are here to thrive – not just to survive. I believe we are here to desire, dream and create. I believe in no limits to what we can accomplish as human beings. I believe we are living in very powerful times. And when the time came exactly 2 months ago for me to decide if I was going all the way with this pursuit or not, the questions I posed to myself were: “If not me, who? If not now, when?” After decades of blindly chasing one achievement after the other I finally stopped. I took time for me and was able to deal with the immense emotions of my past. I have found my light & there is no way I am going anywhere but forward. Your damn right I am going to share my feelings and thoughts (positive only) with others. I am absolutely going to tell you how much you mean to me. I am going to thank you and appreciate you every time I feel like doing so. And yes, I will tell you I love you because I’ve spent 30 years being terrified of that emotion. It is only now that I recognize that NOTHING in this world is more powerful. NOTHING!! Bringing love & emotions into the world of work is exactly what is going to change this world!
Before concluding, however, I do need to point out that being happier than ever and having dreams begin to come true doesn’t at all translate to never again feeling “negative” emotions. Life is still happening around & to me. Anger, frustration, sadness, loneliness – they are all still alive & kicking. Not at all daily, but definitely still present. As evidence, my 37th birthday this past Sunday.
I awoke around 6am – still adjusting to the massive shift from my life in FL to my life here in Seattle. Of course, I am still alone (it isn’t yet time for a romantic partner). The majority of my life has been spent alone – even when married – but the loneliness that bombarded me from the moment I opened my eyes was insane. And it didn’t stop there. I was blasted with emotions spanning the entire gamut regarding my life right now. I was brought to my knees – literally – all day long.
This painful, emotional day, however, was different than ever before and I felt the difference immediately. For the first time in my life, it wasn’t my past. IT WASN’T MY PAST!!! Instead, I was, for the very first time, feeling every single emotion of my present in the present moment. Given the status of my life right now (and how much has changed in 24 months), quite a few flippin’ emotions are swirling within me. This kicked my ass & had me down for the count. But like Rocky Balboa, fighting Apollo Creed at the end of Rocky II, I climbed back up the ropes before the count of 10 while Apollo (my old, unhealthy belief patterns & story) laid knocked out in the ring. The effects have definitely lingered but it was & continues to be incredible to be able to see and experience the ridiculous growth that comes from allowing yourself to feel!
We ALL have immense untapped potential within us. There is no doubt in my mind about this fact. I cannot wait to inspire those who are ready and willing to open their minds to the infinite possibilities of expansion & growth that lie in front of us all. When you are able to finally make peace with your past, cease your worry of the future, and recognize the power of the present you will witness within yourself the emerging of your true nature. Trust me…we have greatness within each of us that is waiting to be unlocked.
Dedicated to the world’s greatest best friend. We met 28 years ago and she knows me better than anyone. Spending the day with her & her family yesterday was exactly what I needed at a very pivotal moment. Her family has taken me in as a member of theirs and it humbles me every time I am in their presence. For someone whose path hasn’t included a family of her own, I cannot express with words how much this means to me. I’m not sure it is possible that I bring even a fraction of the value that she provides in my life. Thank you so very much!!
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Premise 1: I believe in the universal Law of Attraction – what you put out in the world is what you attract back.
Premise 2: I have an unprecedented understanding of ALL the different energies I’ve been putting out in the world my entire life.
Premise 3: I do not believe in accidents or coincidences. Every path – much more specifically with friends than with family – is crossing for higher purposes.
Logical Conclusion: I am drawing to my life experience at present some very, very powerful souls. The opportunities for inspiration and cooperation to indeed change this world surround me (us) – EVERY DAY!!! What has come together in the past 7 weeks (the realization already of some of my wildest dreams) will pale in comparison to what is achieved in the next 6 months!!
A significant part of my vision has been to own my own company that would allow me the opportunity to work with all the friends with whom I particularly connected to & loved over the years. As a young person in a home with so much pain and sadness, I was constantly looking to relationships outside of the family to fill my many emotional voids. As such, I genuinely connected to people of all ages – often, at very deep levels within only days or weeks. Neighbors for whom I baby/pet/house sat often remarked that they couldn’t believe I was only 12 years old with the way that I spoke and carried myself. Not surprisingly, this ability to connect with others, driven by my deep, emotional needs, resulted in many, many close friendships. It hit me very hard as a young teenager when I first began to experience the reality of friends coming & going in one’s life. The families for whom I babysat would move; the young couples I befriended on our street would outgrow their starter homes; the college kids on our block would go back to school and/or leave home for good. And every time…my heart would break. THAT is when this portion of my vision was born.
This desire grew tremendously as a result of my athletic endeavors. Two programs, in particular, represented the epitome of what a dedicated, focused, group with great leadership could achieve – the Plymouth Lightening soccer program and the Plymouth-Canton high school basketball program. While soccer was my foundational love athletically, my world changed forever playing the sport of basketball for my Michigan Hall of Fame coach at Canton. We were absolutely a family. The genuine love we had for one another brought buy-in on such a powerful, subconscious level that it allowed us to achieve well beyond what our pure athleticism alone would have. I began at this time, albeit not yet consciously, to wonder what a work world would look like with such “teams”.
After college, I discovered that my inability to find any sort of niche in the mainstream work world was directly related to this growing desire. I knew, at some level, what amazing things could be accomplished without all the ass-kissing, inefficient, bureaucratic bull shit that seemed to plague every work environment in which I found myself. I didn’t want to settle for anything less than my desire to have my work directly influence the world. I wanted to see & feel it! I refused to accept this notion of putting in time in any system or job just for the sake of doing so. I wanted to do what I was capable of doing NOW! I wanted to bring change to parts of society that I personally experienced & observed but learned that our economic equations do not take into consideration so many necessary things to accomplish this. Things I felt were absolutely essential yet not given any real economic value – happiness, generosity, friendships, and most importantly, love. These things make a difference. In fact, I would argue an infinite difference in whatever goal is being pursued. On November 19, 1993, the Canton girls proved this phenomenon in a win unlike any other. And now, I am creating a for-profit company that will demonstrate it unlike any other.
Here’s the situation…I’ve never stayed anywhere in my adult work life for longer than 2 years and people tend to remember me – in one way or another. I’ve crossed a LOT of paths and now everything and everyone is coming together perfectly. Childhood friends, USF b-ball women & men, USF AKPsi guys & gals, USF Kosove Society, USF Alumni Association, PricewaterhouseCoopers colleagues, Museum of Science & Industry folks, the kids I taught at Marshall Middle School, all of the extremely powerful Sarasota crowd, and most recently, Microsoft.
Last year, my first year out in the world after my “transformation”, was the most incredible working year of my life (until now, of course). This was due first and foremost to the changes within myself. For the first time (while not playing sports) I was living in the present & not blindly chasing another achievement. I discovered that truly being in the present with the understanding & immense appreciation for the power of NOW changed my entire world – practically overnight. My relationships to and with everything have never, ever been richer. And I got to experience this first at a company like Microsoft. It was by far, the most challenging year while simultaneously providing me with episodes of overwhelming beauty & love! The growth and maturity that took place was immeasurable. More profound, however, were the number of ideas the experience launched within me as I bridged two, very different worlds. This adventure absolutely had much higher purposes.
Months before my physical arrival in Seattle this job literally fell into my lap. It took about 20 hours for the shock to settle and for me to know that this was way more than a lucky break. This gut intuition was reinforced all year long. I worked with some of the most amazing individuals I’ve met thus far in my life. Incredibly bright, very witty, huge hearts, and immense work ethics. And I grew quite close to quite a few of them. For now, suffice to say, I definitely did NOT end up at Microsoft accidentally. If my vision is to change the world does it not make perfect sense I would land at one of the largest, most powerful companies out there? Coincidental? Delusional? Nope! Not at all!
In this life, I am a bridge. I am a connector. I am a teacher. And I am most definitely a leader. I have always had energy but never fueled with these exceptional levels of positivity, hope, dreams, and aspirations. It is all coming together now! I am established on the east coast AND the west coast. I am utilizing ALL of my life experiences, which span the gamut from corporate world to organic farm to entrepreneurial pursuits. I am connecting to friends located all over the country and globally. I have the absolute perfect resume for my job now – employing myself to change the world.
Phase 1 is all that is known at present – my personal speaking, blogging, and authoring. Everything beyond that will be created with others. It too has already begun. The specifics will continue to unfold project by project. In general, however, I can tell you what they ALL will entail- extraordinary efforts to create more peace, love, and happiness out in the world. Go ahead and call me a hippie. I’ll be all the hippie you want me to be because who in hell doesn’t want as much of these things as humanly possible. And I believe we are capable in this world of creating MUCH, MUCH, MUCH more of all 3!!!
Just wait!
Super Noon
Dedicated to my youngest brother, Andrew. Today is his 32nd birthday. We are almost exactly 5 years apart and the similarity of our spirits is truly uncanny. The guiding light that brought me to the city that changed me 4 1/2 years ago. I am so very excited to see what the months ahead have in store for us and our shared lives in FL. I KNOW it includes music and I can only dream that someday soon I will be playing the drums with a fraction of the emotion, passion, and talent with which he plays! Time to sing, play, and dance, Drew!! Happy birthday!
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Premise #1: I believe there are much higher purposes for our “placement” in our families.
Premise #2: I KNOW my lifelong vision of changing the world is coming true right now – today and every single day going forward for the rest of this life.
Logical Conclusion: My family – immediate and extended – is absolutely, positively part of bringing this massive, world-changing vision to fruition.
There is no exaggerating when I say that in the new paradigm – the one based in love that will raise this world’s vibration – my huge family will be one of the most powerful families in the world. Seriously. I am absolutely not kidding. The intelligence, the work ethic, the athleticism, the kind-heartedness, the love, the generosity, & the overall insane levels of energy of my amazing aunts, uncles, & cousins is truly unbelievable. When they are in the “zone” they are the most incredible kind of human beings walking this planet.
However, many of my relatives, like 95% of the rest of the American population, are plagued by the emotions of fear, worry, anxiety, and guilt – emotions that when felt, immediately throw you out of the “zone”. A highly competitive, high-achieving bunch (at all generational levels), we often are our own worst critiques. Most of us are type A++ with a tendency of striving for perfection. All-in-all, a perfect storm in terms of having an abundance of energies most likely to prevent true, lasting happiness. My spiritual transformation caused me to examine these belief patterns and personal characteristics in hopes of being able to discover how to recombine them in entirely new ways. The change has been nothing short of a miracle – the unfolding of a lifelong dream resulting from consciously playing a new game of life. A game I only learned existed as the result of an honest pursuit of finding true, to-the-core, happiness in the here and now.
I am now shining as bright as I am meant to shine in this life. As such, I’ve finally been able to see, hear, and feel my unique calling that I believe beckons for each and every one of us in this world. In fact, it becomes more vivid every single day. As it turns out, I was completely underestimating both the energy drain from my negativity on the inside & the immense power we have to control our realities on the outside. This significantly-raised level of awareness & consciousness has quite literally felt like the obtaining of super human powers (hence, my alias – another old high school nickname). And the best part? We ALL have this power – we just need to learn how to recognize and use it!
My life is meant to serve as an example of the infinite possibilities that lie in front of us right now. I most certainly wouldn’t be doing this – pursuing my vision with such passion – if I didn’t want to be doing it. I am loving my life like I never imagined was possible. However… this is so much more than me. This is my calling. This is my truth. This is my duty to live it. Especially as of member of this family. I am one of the few unmarried, childless, mortgage-less, “stuff”-less nieces/nephews remaining. If anyone had the “easiest” road – i.e. fewest dependencies to consider – to pursue their dream, it is me. If I can demonstrate the possibility exists, then those around me have one more reason to listen to their own calling – to pursue their own dreams. The more people you have around you living their truth in as many areas as possible, the easier it is to continue to find and follow your own. Which leads me to the final, beautiful part of this family portion of the story.
One cousin, in particular, knows exactly what I am talking about. Not surprisingly, fate landed us together in the same city 6 months apart – we hadn’t even lived in the same state since 1994. Almost immediately, we discovered we were in very similar places in our respective spiritual journeys. As we got to know one another for the first time as adults, we were simultaneously living our massive life transitions in arguably, one of the most energetic cities in the country. It will be a story in and of itself someday very soon. Until then, he and I know none of this is accidental. He & I know we are meant for greatness. And we know we are meant to help awaken the rest of our amazing family to this same level of awareness & consciousness.
The time for me to demonstrate my faith in the “force” has most definitely begun. It has been a very, very powerful 4 months since leaving WA. The growth has been substantial. The lessons learned, monumental. And the ‘How much do I really believe?’ test was passed with flying colors 7 weeks ago as I was faced with a sudden, drastic shift in my FL situation. For the first time on this journey, I was able to say that I believe 100% to my core EVERYTHING I am saying, writing, and living. There remains no doubt, worry or concern for anything. I trust it all and have no fear lingering. Nothing or no one can possibly deter me now. I am strongly grounded in my heart and I can finally claim that I accept & love myself unconditionally and without judgement – to my core! I am soaring higher every day and will continue to go as high as I can.
Within a year, this energy will spread like wildfire throughout the rest of my entire family. And then…get the hell ready! My aunts, uncles, and the hundreds of cousins spread across the country – GET READY WORLD!!! The Hughes and Noune families are just getting warmed up. We need just a little practice but you will soon see a true dream team at play in a game more beautiful, more fun, and more positive than anything you’ve ever observed. World-changing – no doubts!!
Super Noon
Dedicated to one of my favorite aunts growing up. Today is her birthday – one I’ve remembered since I was a kid due to the proximity to my own. This particular aunt suffered one of the greatest losses you can experience in this life just 3 years ago. She has always had amazing strength, tact, and poise but to see her maintain this during such a difficult time was an inspiration beyond words. More importantly, she wasted very little time afterwards focusing on the sad aspects of her situation. Instead, she chose to focus on embracing her new living situation – knowing like never before that the power of living truly lies in the here and now. Her beautiful children – my cousins – serve as evidence of how incredible an example she has been for them. A beautiful family with one bad-ass mom. Happy birthday and thank you so very much for modeling a zest for life for all these years!
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