This would probably be a good time to answer a question that maybe has arisen in some readers’ minds again. ‘What makes you, Alyson, believe you are qualified to make all of these claims of this new Game and how it works?’ Well, the simple answer is that I am living everything about which I speak and what has happened to me in the past 2 years is proof enough. (more…)
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Thoughts, beliefs, focus, emotions, and energy. Absolute keys to this new Game. In order to learn to play, you must become familiar with these concepts in very new ways. You must learn how they relate to one another. You must understand that as you transition from the story of your life now to the new story you desire, you are going to need to know the basic foundational beliefs you must hold in the new Game should you want to be any good at playing (i.e. cooperation & abundance). You must accept that certain beliefs you hold now will indeed limit you in the new Game (i.e. competition & comparison). That doesn’t mean you can’t play but don’t be discouraged if it seems to take you awhile to master the skills. This will take practice and just like in athletics or music, some people are naturals and others have to practice a lot more. However, EVERYONE has the capability of playing this Game.
Remember, a belief is simply a thought that you practice over and over again. Going forward, be aware that at times I will thus use these terms interchangeably. Beliefs within us exist at varying degrees of strength. The degree of strength correlates strongly with our values. The amplitude of our beliefs is also associated with the length of time we’ve held them in our life. Additionally, many beliefs are such that they affect our behaviors automatically. These habitual patterns are sometimes hard to identify and if you decide there are certain ones that need to be broken, be prepared that there is work involved. I’ve written before that the transition from the old game to the new Game will most certainly be challenging – to everyone at some level.
Our focus on our beliefs/thoughts cause us to feel certain emotions. These emotions, in addition to the thoughts and beliefs themselves, directly lead to what decisions we make in our day-to-day world. Even with the simplest of actions, this process is taking place. Brushing your teeth, for example. You do this because you believe it is the healthy thing to do for your mouth. Or…you do it because it is a habit and the belief tied to that habit was passed on to you by someone else who felt it was a good belief to have. And get this…sometimes beliefs are passed on to you by someone for whom the belief is also a habit – i.e. they aren’t even conscious of it.
Huh? This is getting too confusing. For some of you, I know this is true and to you I say, there will be further explanations very soon. For others, I know you are right there with me. Why am I bringing this up? Why is it important to identify from where a particular belief comes? Because it absolutely matters whether or not YOU consciously choose to have your beliefs. After all, YOU are the only one responsible for and living your life. If you are operating with underlying beliefs that you aren’t aware of and/or that you didn’t choose for yourself, you may not even know how these are affecting your day-to-day life choices. If your desires are incongruent with your underlying beliefs, you will continue to bang your head against the wall as you seek happiness & fulfillment in your life.
Allow me to use one more personal example to try to make this a little bit clearer. I have a few beliefs that proved to be the most limiting to me, including a belief that life had to be a struggle. That midwest, middle-class attitude ingrained deep, deep within me. Anytime I experienced anything remotely close to what I dreamed – which, essentially was a life where I didn’t struggle, I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. The phrase ‘too good to be true’ was my automatic response to anything that appeared as such. This belief was sabotaging my entire life and most certainly my ability to reach my FULL potential in this life. The underlying belief I wanted was one of no struggle. However, the belief I had and the one guiding my every action and decision was that life had to be a struggle – ALL at a level unconscious to me until my healing time in MI.
How we behave (as a result of our beliefs) takes energy. Physical & emotional energy. And that energy is like a big signal to the Universe. If you broadcast positive energy, you will receive positive energy back into your life. If you are emitting vibrations of negativity, you will attract negativity back into your life. Our outer worlds most definitely reflect our inner worlds.
Be careful, though in trying to label what is positive & negative at this point. Some things may appear to be an obvious categorical “negative” – say, losing your job. However, in many, MANY cases the signs are being misread. The self-guidance systems of most of you reading are I dare say, extremely rusty. If, in your life at present, you think more often about how someone else or society at large is going to think about what you say/do as opposed to how YOU feel about your behavior, than you are not ready to make sense of all the plentiful signs in your world.
Seeing as most places of employment utilize evaluation systems to justify pay and the keeping of one’s job, most of you are spending the majority of your time in any given week living your life FIRST according to what you think someone outside of you is going to think of your behavior. Of course you can’t yet trust your own intuition. You haven’t been taught about and thus haven’t practiced following the amazing, inner guidance that is within you. Ridiculous (because employers actually believe this process motivates & brings out the best of their employees) evaluation systems that have you comparing yourself to others and forgetting the all important notion of relativity.
Some of you out there may still have dreams. But I would wager, that most of you have given up on those wild, awesome, innovative, creative, world-changing dreams that you held when you were younger. Well, it is time to re-ignite those because they are right there waiting for you to make them come true. But it all begins with the BELIEF that you can make them come true. It will take some time, personal work and practice, but you can do it…you can make it so that some day in the very near future, to your core, you actually believe that you can make your dreams come true. And once that belief is fully there – for anything – once you click into it at a 100%, the universe then works its magic and like a miracle…your dreams – big and small – begin to manifest as your reality.
I am not out to convince anyone of anything – not at all. The only thing I am aiming to do is to apply my energy – and not just the high level of it, but my complete energy that I’ve been told my entire life by MANY inspires, invigorates, excites, and motivates others. I want to guide others back to themselves – their essences – their callings – their uniqueness – that within them that is GREATER than the individual.
More than anything in the world, I value people. And all I’ve ever wanted to do was to help others get even a baby step closer to their full potential. Inherently, I’ve always known that we hadn’t even touched the tip of the iceberg of our human capabilities & that I had something within me that was going to be able to rectify this situation. Well, it has taken 36 years, but my time to shine has finally arrived. This is my unique role on the planet right now and there is no way I am missing this opportunity. I’ve been preparing & training for this my entire life and I am 100% ready!
Stay tuned…you definitely don’t want to miss the upcoming postings!
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Up until age 35, I held the belief that money was the absolute root of all evil in our world. Simultaneously, I believed that money – and ample sums of it – was essential to change the world on a large scale, which is all I’ve ever dreamed of doing. Wanna talk about sending out mixed messages? How in the heck was I ever going to obtain these large sums of money to change things when at my core I still believed it was evil? The short answer? I wasn’t.
I had to lose the chip on my shoulder regarding money that I had held for so many years. The pissed off attitude that I didn’t have it but felt I deserved it. I not only deserved it based on all the “regular” qualifications – education, intellect, work ethic, responsibility, etc – but I believed I was entitled to something for all the pain of my past. I had survived so much that was a result of my childhood – a time that was not in my control. I had faced so much darkness and made it through & I believed that mattered…a lot.
This is why I became so upset when I first began to write about money and economics a month ago. Because that topic triggers my old story immediately. It makes me think of all those who have and all the many more who don’t. And that makes me think of how much all those who “have” are unaware of because statistically speaking, most of the haves come from a life of “having” and most of the have-nots have every obstacle in the world in the road in front of them making it extra difficult to ever become one that “has”.
I know how substantial the emotional obstacles were in my road. And I know very well the millions & millions in our country who have not only emotional obstacles but very real, much more powerfully negative, practical obstacles – like barely having their basic needs met. Like receiving educations that are so horrendous that they are only further set up to be taken advantage of with limited abilities of comprehension & logical thinking – and NOT because they aren’t capable of learning but because the lack of resources going towards these efforts is so substantial. I’ve never been able to comprehend or accept how many millions aren’t even given a statistical shot at reaching anywhere their potential nor that our country seems to have agreed to continue this massive waste of resources in our people.
And quite honestly, what was triggered was much more personal. I selfishly thought of myself and the lack of material wealth I possess. For that matter, the lack of material wealth that anyone in my immediate family possesses. Up until 2 years ago, it never made sense to me. We were such good people. Emotionally dysfunctional to be sure, and crazy amounts of sadness and drama but I never, ever doubted the goodness of my family – EVER! My family is amazing. SUPER hard-working. SUPER honest. SUPER intelligent. SUPER talented. How in the hell could it be that all 5 of us together had so little to show for all of it? How? We deserved more. The difference that we could make on a large-scale with our enormous bleeding hearts, our work ethic, and our intellect surely warranted more than what we had. How is it possible that things would work out this way? Not only did we not have money, but there still remained a great deal of happiness to be had too. Ahhh…therein lies the answer and the guiding secret to this new Game…happiness.
If you’ve been reading my blog regularly, you know that as a result of a 10-month, self-imposed healing time in MI 2 years ago, my perspective on almost every belief I had was changed. I’ve always known & believed that money was not the be-all, end-all, but by 35, I was tired of not having any. I was tired of trying to fit into an economic system that was so obviously lacking due to its ignoring of so many values held by so many people – namely, me! And rather than EVER consider that the system was what was screwing me up, I did what my habitual patterns from an emotionally dysfunctional childhood trained me to – I shouldered all the responsibility for this lack of being able to fit in. I judged myself & beat myself up, which only worsened everything. Little did I know that I was indeed responsible…but not at ALL in the way our present paradigm was making me feel responsible.
Money does not solve anything to do with your spirituality – your essence – your soul. You cannot purchase happiness, which I now link directly to my spirituality. You can spend money to aid you on your journey – on books, seminars, therapists, etc – but no amount of money will help you directly find your soul. You will know when you have located this inner self when you are no longer attached to any of the limiting belief systems of our present world. And once you reconnect with your inner self…that which is greater than us all and binds us all together…the result is nothing but happiness.
I was missing happiness. I was focusing on only the absence of all I wanted and desired without any awareness that in doing so I only perpetuated the continued lack of my desires. I was still seeking validation for my childhood pain and in doing so I was keeping alive all of the sad drama of that childhood. Every single thought going through my mind was one focused on something negative, including all of my beliefs about money.
Well, what if I told you that in the new Game material wealth followed automatically when your first concern was your own personal spiritual wealth? NOT religion – you can possess spirituality without following or adhering to the customs of any one religion. And I am not at all against religion. I am however, against the ridiculous, INSANE amounts of hypocrisy surrounding religion in our world in 2013. Religion, due to the influence of humans, has veered way off course regarding the ancient “truths” they claim to illustrate. I don’t care which teacher you follow – Jesus, Moses, Muhammad, Buddha, Brahman, Lao-Tzu, or the Earth itself – they are all communicating the same thing. And if we stop judging one another for long enough and cease the belief that everyone has to look at the world in the same exact way as us, we would see this glaringly apparent fact!
At the end of 2010, I dove into my spirituality head first. I read EVERYTHING I could. I was so ready for a new approach that I allowed my mind to be open to it ALL…EVERY single wacky, hippie-dippie, airy-fairy, New Age, old school, radical, orthodox, conservative, approach to trying to explain why the hell we are here on this planet. And as I wrote in Whoa! Hold The Horses! Part 2, “What I discovered was that the new approach of changing beliefs resulted in new perspectives, which led to new thoughts, which led to new behaviors, which led to new outcomes. And BAM! I was living the life of my dreams and it has continued to progress as such every single day since.”
Every spiritual book I read said the same thing to me and it energized me like nothing else. Something in each interpretation resonated as “true” to me – at a instinctual, gut level. It just made sense. I had all the power! I couldn’t believe it! I was responsible for every single thing in my life – good & bad – via my beliefs, thoughts, and focus. There was no going back. While I wasn’t yet fully conscious of tracking the process as I have been since May of 2011, I was definitely embracing my past like never before. I was eternally grateful for ALL of it. I finally understood that every single thing happens for a reason and that had my past not been exactly as it was, I wouldn’t be the exact person I am today. It was incredible and seriously one of the most beautiful realizations of my life. The dark was almost instantly lifted. However, I still had some pretty nasty, very old belief patterns to overcome. And I had quite a few that still needed to be identified. This was not going to change overnight.
These were going to be no easy patterns to 1) see in myself for no one else can know my deepest thought patterns; 2) to accept what I see; 3) By accepting, I must then admit that I truly am in control of my own life because NO ONE can control my THOUGHTS/BELIEFS but me!! 4) To begin to figure out how to change these unwanted, no-longer-serving-me-well beliefs.
This process would end up being the most challenging time of my life. Yet, it was without a doubt, the most amazing living I had ever done. I was living in my present for the very first time. I was no longer bogged down by my past nor was I worried about my future. I was living entirely in the now!! I recognized I had all the power & influence I needed within myself. It wasn’t an easy road, but it was & continues to be extremely empowering. And I’m telling you (soon, showing you too)…you cannot even begin to imagine how much our human potential is being held back by the very limiting beliefs of this old-paradigm game.
It is time to play a new Game!! You can begin playing right now – from exactly where you are. ‘How?’, you may ask? By simply opening your mind. OPEN YOUR MIND! It is time to open your mind and to stop judging & blaming anything & everything outside of you. This is the greatest Game on Earth – I am sure of it!! I’m also pretty sure that right now, despite only being in my second year of playing, that I am the Michael Jordan of this Game. Keep reading because you will VERY soon see why. This is it! This is the week it all comes out! Get ready to play!!
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My last entry, Welcome to Alyson’s Old Story Mind, was necessary in order to demonstrate the fact that I am just like you – I am a unique human being, born with unique interests & abilities, into circumstances over which I had zero control. Those circumstances – i.e. the families into which we are born – GREATLY influence our journey, hence the immense responsibility of being a parent.
The beliefs and values taught to us, either directly with words or indirectly with behavioral examples, develop into very, very deeply ingrained patterns and habits. As a result, we become adults often with no conscious awareness of how little input we actually had on these patterns. We leave our parents’ homes, trying to build a world for ourselves, with no real idea how the wiring of our brain patterns, combined with our personalities, is about to translate into what becomes our perceived realities.
I was simply trying to make my way in the world up until 2 years ago. I was doing the absolute best I could but I was barely surviving in the sense that I was miserable & unfulfilled. The world around me did nothing to inspire me and in fact, only increased my levels of hopelessness. As I did what I was taught – keeping abreast of the news as an educated, intelligent woman – I only feared more for myself and the human species. How could this possibly represent the living that we came here to do?
What exacerbated my situation, as it turns out, was a very damaging, underlying belief pattern of comparison. One, that in this paradigm, and in this country especially, is introduced to us and encouraged in every area of our life from the moment we are out of the womb. In my home growing up, the direction of the comparison, however, was extremely unique. What I observed in most was the tendency to compare oneself to those who had more. In our world, we always compared to those who had less.
We grew up learning about the struggle of everyone else around us – namely, the experience unique to that of African Americans. I am eternally grateful for my Dad’s influence in making us aware of how fortunate we were to not have had those sorts of circumstances to overcome in our lives. However, this tendency to always compare our situations to those of the less fortunate has been one of the most crippling of all my beliefs. We NEVER took into consideration the relativity of the situation – anyone’s, least of which, our own.
I was living in an unbelievably stressful setting given my unique personality. I never had a childhood after 6. At 8 I was doing things around the house that most teenagers don’t even do. At 11 I had my first job with my paper route and at 12 I became the neighborhood baby-sitter, pet-sitter, and house-sitter. I was a very capable kid who was actually quite happy with all the responsibility – it was natural & fun and I loved becoming friends with all the adults & kids on my street. In 7th grade, though, everything changed significantly. I was finally able to begin playing school sports for the very first time.
I was in heaven immediately and it introduced me to the world of extra-curricular activities. There wasn’t much I didn’t do. By 8th grade I even entered the arena of politics as I became the president of our 1000-student middle school. There was no stopping this train now, but that meant I was no longer the rock for my single mom at home. This ended up being devastating to our relationship.
Mom didn’t intend to make me feel badly about getting a life of my own. I was aware of this even then – she was so tired all the time & was barely surviving with all three of us & a teaching job (meaning the work is brought home too). She had papers to correct every night on top of trying to prepare a meal AFTER a full day of teaching!! She had nothing for just her. She deprived herself of everything – namely, happiness – for her family.
I had helped a great deal managing the home until this point. Now, I was not only not helping as much but I also needed rides to/from practices?! Double-whammy! She was hanging on by a thin thread & I knew it. But I just couldn’t do it – I just couldn’t not live a life for me. The guilt that was at first only energetically placed upon me was plenty enough. But once I was verbally called selfish regularly, I couldn’t take it. It was unbearable.
Unbearable because as a child, which emotionally I still was, all you long for is your parent’s unconditional love & acceptance & communication. More than anything what I longed for was not the money we didn’t have. I longed to not hurt. I longed to not feel so misunderstood, so lonely, so unhappy – in my own family, no less. I longed to feel like I was part of an actual family. I longed for experiences with people I loved – especially, with my immediate family because I witnessed & absorbed all of their pain too. I knew I could never express this to Mom. I had already learned (via a lesson in 4th grade) that emotionally, I was on my own because she was on empty…all the time. To this day, I cannot allow myself to focus on this thought for very long. The magnitude of sadness that fills my heart is almost intolerable.
I felt her struggle every day & tried like hell to not give her anything more to worry about with me. And I was driven in my heart to do nothing but get out in that world as soon as I could to earn the millions that it appeared you needed to possess (and that I already knew I was capable of earning) in order to change things. My only goal in life was to ease or to better yet, prevent situations like ours from any other family.
Our parents do the absolute best they can. And mine were no exception. But, because of their own suffering & lack of awareness, they were incapable of acknowledging the pain I was living and experiencing. They discounted every complaint. If I ever felt badly, I was made to feel even more guilty because there were millions of people within hours of me worse off. The Catholic guilt permeated every orifice of our home. From the time I was consciously able to identify when I wasn’t able to get something I desired, I was made to feel guilty about wanting anything more than I had. This was all I knew for the first 18 1/2 years of my life. How or why would I do anything but solidify this belief pattern as I moved out into the world as an adult?
Kids just want attention and they want to be loved and they want to be free to have fun & enjoy discovering who they are in this world. If kids don’t get this – and depending on the degree to which they don’t get these things – they turn into adults with unbelievable amounts of emotional baggage to work through. And often times, you don’t become aware of the fact that you have a lot of shit to deal with until you are already committed to employers, home mortgages, spouses, and children. Then what? You repeat the same situation that you swore you wouldn’t repeat because breaking the cycle is really, really, REALLY hard. And it is THAT much harder when you don’t have money.
So, in a very noble attempt to create good citizens of their children, my parents unwittingly ingrained in us belief patterns that have debilitated us as adults. There was never relativity in the comparisons we were making. There was never discernment regarding the mass generalizations that we were being taught about the world. All we knew was that there was no way we could ever discriminate against anyone and we certainly were not going to be a part of any employment that was contributing to the proliferation of injustice.
Well, I had no way of figuring out my way in a world where these days it doesn’t take much to connect anything to some sort of injustice being committed. How does someone as bright & accomplished as I was exiting college end up stalling out so quickly in the “real” world? Underlying belief patterns regarding personal responsibility & money that were incongruent with the “truth” I now know about both.
To be continued…
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