I have been a writer since my youth. I think I was 7 when I wrote my first story – “If I was 20 Feet Tall” – complete with illustrations. Pretty amusing since at that time I couldn’t have yet predicted how much of an issue my height (or in my case, lack there-of) would be in my life. I also have been a pretty heavy thinker since very young. I specifically remember a day in 4th grade social studies in Mrs. Boeve’s class at Farrand Elementary. Something about war came up in our lesson. And I remember sharing one of the only things I knew about war at the time.
After my parent’s first divorce, my mom took us to visit an old friend of hers on at least one occasion. She had to prepare us for the visit. As it turned out, while she was in college, my mom had dated this man. It was during the time of Vietnam and she told us that he was sent over to fight. While in combat, he was blown out of a tank and became a quadriplegic, paralyzed from the neck down. Without any further details explained to us, it was obvious that this changed everything between my mom and this man.
At 9 years old, I remember commenting about how strange it felt for me to reflect on this newly-learned fact. Of course I wasn’t at all happy about what happened to this man my mom obviously loved. However, I recognized that had that not happened, I wouldn’t be here. Had this tragic thing not happened, my mom quite likely would not have met & married my dad and hence, had me. I was 9 and I absolutely remember sharing this observation with my class. Not at all a kid with typical kid things going through my mind.
In addition to my sports, thinking, analyzing, and writing was how I coped with a reality I felt I had very little control over. I was never sentimental about things but when it came to written expression there was nothing I valued more. As such, over the years I have saved hundreds and hundreds of written things. Assignments, tests, stories, letters, cards, poems, etc. – both written to and by me. I often made rough drafts for all “important” communications. And seeing as I’ve been overly dramatic my entire life, I deemed many correspondences to be “important”. 95% of my saved materials are back home in Seattle but I did instinctively bring one file with me when I came back to FL last August. It was within that file that just last week I found two unbelievably relevant writings.
I would like to share the first of these today. Below, I will re-type word-for-word my University of South Florida Honors Program Application Essay. I wrote this as a 17-year old in the fall of my senior year. I had already visited USF on a basketball recruiting trip. Knowing my academic background, they took the initiative to introduce me to the program during my visit. After accepting their scholarship on November 17, 1993, I had to formerly apply to school, including the Honors Program (now the Honors College).
My less-than-great 17-year old writing capabilities will be revealed almost immediately. It is not for this reason that I share this almost 20-year old writing sample. It is for one reason only. I share to demonstrate that as kids, we know. Know what? Well, in my case, I knew myself a hell of a lot better than I gave myself credit for. I knew what moved me. I knew what I dreamed of doing. I found this last week and was actually a bit shocked. As I continue to struggle to bring definition and focus to what it is I am doing right now in my life, I was in awe of how it is EXACTLY what I wrote about 20 years ago. It was a spectacular discovery for me because it reassured me yet again that I have found my way back to me!
Without any justification, explanation, or excuses for what or how I wrote this all those years ago, here is proof that I’ve known all along what I’ve wanted my life to be about. As kids…we know.
University of South Florida Honors Program
Application Essay
As I have progressed through these past four years of schooling, I have become more and more aware of worldwide events, as well as grasping a better understanding of occurrences in our own country. And, as my mind has been opened to the wide range of differences in people, places, events, and thoughts across the globe, there have been many times when I have found myself saying, “If only I had the opportunity to change such and such in the world.”
If I was “in charge”, there are two main changes to society that I would make. The first, and most important, are the prejudices that people have towards other people. The saying, “never judge a book by its cover” is so very true, but in society today, there are not enough people who live by it. The world is such a difficult place to live in as it is, but it is made even more difficult because of the fact that everyone seems to be judged on outside appearances more than anything else – if one is male or female, black or white, rich or poor, pretty or ugly, and the list goes on and on. Because of these prejudices and the hasty generalizations that society makes based on these prejudices, people disallow themselves the chance for the time it takes to actually get to know a person for who they are on the inside. If this worldwide problem in society were to somehow be resolved and every individual were to be judged on the kind of person he or she were instead of how he or she appeared on the outside, then the world would be a much more positive place to live in and a place where more people were given the equal opportunity to succeed.
The second change that I would make would be to change the fact that in society today, one must have money to live a happy, prosperous life. The problem of money is on everybody’s mind who is old enough to understand the concept. There are the poor citizens who want and need things which they cannot afford, so will therefore, steal. There are the middle-class citizens who whine that the rich get anything and everything, that the poor don’t really matter, and that they will be stuck in the middle forever because of the government. Then, there are the rich citizens – professional athletes who cry about not making enough money when all they own are four cars, two mansions, a boat, a motorcycle, and millions of dollars in the bank! Society needs to be changed so that people understand what a fulfilled and flourishing life should consist of, and that is the people and life experiences in one’s life. If somehow the cost of living could be reduced to allow people to have something other than problems concerning money on their minds, then I feel people would be able to understand that money isn’t the answer to all problems and that money won’t solve everything. Instead, people could learn what luxury and value there is to everything around them, not including money.
I chose the change in prejudices because of my experiences thus far in life. I attend a high school with approximately 4,600 students. There is an extreme variety of people and I’m proud to say that I’ve had the chance to know many different types of people. I wasn’t afraid to associate with people unlike myself, as many of my friends were, and as the majority of everyone at school was. Every individual is allowed to be just that, an individual, and to create a life for themselves. High school is a time for experimenting and there are billions of different ways to live a life. No two individual humans have identical lives! This means that when the thousands of possible appearances on the outside are combined with the thousands of possible types of people one can be on the inside, there are billions of combinations and differences of people that can be created. There is no possible way that just by looking at an indivdual on the outside one can automatically know what kind of person that individual is. I learned over these past four years that it takes time to get to know who someone is on the inside and that that is who that person really is – not what they appear to be on the outside. Society needs to learn how to take this time.
The change concerning money being the source of happiness I chose because of one very special friend I have. He is my best friend, my companion. I could be the poorest person in the world and if I was with him, I would be the happiest person in the world. Just a walk through the woods, which doesn’t cost a penny, provides me with a good feeling. I don’t need to be eating a $200 meal with him to be happy. I see an excess of materialism in society today. “If I drive this great car, or wear these expensive clothes, or attend that high class event, people will look at me and say she must be so happy with money to buy all of those things!” No way! My best friend and I don’t need that materialism and I don’t think anyone needs it. People need to discover this themselves. Even if someone doesn’t have a best friend in someone else, they can have a best friend within themselves. This is a spiritual part of life that isn’t taught to kids and I think if it were, material things wouldn’t mean so much. And the greatest thing about my experience with my friend is that I could have the material things. His love taught me that it isn’t necessary. I learned that the greatest power in the world today is love. Each individual needs to discover that love with themselves and/or for another human, combined with personal life experiences, is the source of a happy, prosperous life. And only after this will one fully understand how little money can actually mean.
The people I have associated with over these past four years are what most influenced my choices. People of all ages are great! Each person I come in contact with affects my life in a different way. Whether it is an 8th grade boy who I coached, who tells me how much he looks up to me, my best friend telling me he loves me, or a senior citizen at work telling me he has never seen anyone with so much “spunk!” The world is made of people. Each individual contributes something to society, but society only sees the surface. Society sees what is given not who gave it. More time needs to be dedicated to getting to know people, not things. People change and live in the world. People need to be understood, not machines and contributions. Everyone needs time and experiences with different kinds of people to understand the true value of living. This is what opened my mind and made me see the world from a new viewpoint – a viewpoint from which I wish I could change just a few major things.
A truly remarkable find for me. Especially the timing of the find. I encourage everyone to think back to when they were young. Have you drifted from your dreams? If so, know it is never, ever too late to find your way back.
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