Do I write about this or do I not? It is a great example to share to help remind folks that you aren’t some super-human out here unaffected by the harsh realities that absolutely exist in our still largely fear-motivated, ego-based world. However, it isn’t exactly positive yet…you haven’t allowed yourself enough time to work through all the emotions. That’s because you promised a date – again…you did it to yourself again. Your readers are expecting you to release it all today. YOU are dying to release it all today. You NEED to release it all today. But you can’t release the new web page from a place of these energies. You can’t release it until you have the associated blog post. You can’t write the associated blog post when you are still processing the shocking news you received only 12 hours ago. You aren’t in the mindset of your new Game place. You aren’t yet able to move your focus to all the positive of this new situation. And you know how you are, Alyson…very, very conscious about the Light you are trying to spread. You don’t like putting anything negative out there. But…
…I’m walloped.
I will be fine. All the plans are still going to be fine. The nature of my next 9 days changes a bit, but everything is okay. However…this was a big thing upon which lots was seemingly dependent. It is just a house. And I can find another in which to do all that I have planned and I will…quickly. But…I can’t explain all that was triggered with this news last night. I can’t. There are no words. Not after all else I had pushed through as I prepared to launch this very important, very necessary (for me to get out there) web page. Literally hours before the next big step for this journey and I am hit with a reversed decision. Completely unexpected & unreal given the details. Unreal.
The strength…the courage…to pursue such a vision…to heed such a call…to continue to listen to my heart and follow my soul…in a world where many, many are not doing so and consequently, cannot possibly, remotely comprehend what that entails…I am walloped. I am overwhelmed with loneliness today and I am a bit battered.
I know well enough – VERY well enough how the Universe works. I know that this decision is actually a massive blessing. This is similar, though, to the example I referenced just a few posts ago about losing a job. In this old game, gut reaction is that this is a bad thing. When in actuality, ‘bad’ things can always be turned around and looked at as the opportunities they are should you wish to see them as such. And this is the case with everything. ANY setback can immediately be flipped on its head and turned into an opportunity for growth, if for nothing else…ANY. But…depending on the setback, some mourning may be appropriate.
I need to mourn this today. And it isn’t for me. Perhaps, a little bit for me because I love that house but I’m not planning to live here full-time. I am meant to be here to launch. I am meant to affect a lot of lives here. But I am working my way back to Seattle as my primary base. This will be the east-coast headquarters – that isn’t changing. But, I am not needing to mourn this for me.
I am mourning for others and for the home itself, as silly as that may sound. And therein lies my area of weakness…always has been…wanting more for people than they desire for themselves. In this case, I wanted WAY more for that home than those did with whom the decision resided. And that is okay. That is fine. I wholly accept the news. In fact, I am thankful for this was the Universe’s way of telling me that this situation was not what was going to be the best use of my resources. I am extremely grateful to already see many of the lessons able to be gained from all of this. But…it does deserve the 12 hours (minus 4 of sleeping) of me processing the fact that all I had built in my mind for that place is now not going to be taking place there.
This has been and always will be nothing but real. Honest, genuine, and real. That is all I’ve ever been and that is all I know how to be. I was reminded again last night that NOTHING is stopping me. Because I cannot live in this old-paradigm world. I cannot live in a world where logic – plain and simple logic has gone out the window. I am not working to convince anyone of anything. I was tested this week like never before. On so many levels, that I’m not quite sure I will believe it myself when I look back upon this time. And I did it. I pushed through every single situation and every unbelievably intense emotion. I had conversations that would have been almost impossible for me even just months ago. The growth taking place is simply insane. And as I am learning, this expansion is necessary and very much the next logical step given where my journey has me at present.
In order to build the bridge to the new Earth I am helping to create, I must play in this old Game for a little bit longer. The bridge is coming from this old Game and I am still getting established in the place where it needs to begin – the here and now, which is dark and getting darker. I need to play on this limited, somber field for just a little while more. I feel obligated to put enough out there for folks to determine whether or not it is their time to play. After this web page is released (today, tomorrow, whenever I get it done) that is all the convincing I am doing. If you can’t hear, see, feel what I have going on, that is okay. But I have to stop trying to work so hard to convince and instead do what I know I need to do – TRUST. Trust and believe that the energies that are ready will find me and my business and that I will receive everything I need. Because I am the real deal and I have no need for those not able or willing to be equally as real.
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